As usual, this has been edited very little if any.
The reading tempo should be quick.
She reminded me that there are
Beautiful women out there and
Finding them is as simple as saying
Would like to meet me for drinks
At molly’s at seven thirty?
She also reminded me that
You have to piss with the peeter
God gave you and sometimes that
Is not a peeter at all.
Have I introduced you to my St. Peter?
He watches over my pearly gates.
I’ve pushed more peeter more sweeter
More completer than any peeter pusher
You ever met, fuck all those other guys,
James the Elder
James the Younger
I met you for the new Bond flick
At 6:15, I was late on account of the state
Of my hair, intransigent.
It said Fuck you Jeremy and your
Plans for making me look nice.
I am tired of remaining smashed
Under a hard hat unseen.
Unseen I wish I could have remained
As I said hello to that red bearded spectre
From my past while he stood in the movie
Theatre mens room peeter in hand.
I’ve got to hand it to you red beard,
You’ve improved, I talked a lot of shit
But I always thought you had the potential
To be the third good mate, sounds like
Close, get close, don’t the blue eyes
Scare you off, logically you know she wants the
Lip to lip, hence all the exploratory arm touch
Awkward close posture rigamorol.
When lips hit lips I let the thought quit.
Feels good, feels nice, do it again,
Once, twice, thrice until the credits roll
Then get it back under control
Out of the darkness, into the light.
Let the door slam on Hope
Then talk awkwardly for a second
Re-inviting her presence into your life
With Sydnee as bystander to the social samba.
After the drive back you awkwardly
Debated what should happen next and
Bravely decided to invite me in.
I’m glad because that means I got to
Watch that thing wiggle up the steps.
What a monument to the skill of the immortal
Architect, heart shaped, plump, ivory, pliable
(yes this line is about your ass.)
At the top you remarked on how hard I was to reach,
Too tall for easy access, don’t worry, I’ll come to
I want this too.
On the couch you remark on how it makes
You slouch, but no matter I just want to lean in
And get close.
The ladies at work say no no no this
Can’t work, watch out for sailors, they’re
Trouble and he might be gay. But you checked
With my St. Peter and he is totally buying
The gospel you be preaching.
Thus instigated my hands get motivated
But you stopped me and stated, I’m not
Going to fuck you. I don’t miss a beat
Saying I’m not going to fuck you either
And it takes two to tango.
Those that fuck on the second date
Are either heart breakers or get heart broken
And there is something wrong with both
Until now unspoken.
Lack of love for self or love for others
And we have neither.
And now despite that ass too much time
Has passed and I must leave you in the
Grace and mercy of our lord.
Please excuse the popcorn that fell on the floor.
Some would say this poem is overBut I think there is always more.